[drabble] The First Death [Soubi, Ritsu-sensei]

[enchanter]

The First Death
PG-13 // drabble // Soubi, Ritsu-sensei // 333 words
Note: Written for loveless100 challenge: Condition



Sensei's lessons meant whipping meant injuries meant pain. A simple chain of events Soubi never really attempted to break. He believed in fate. It had made him a Fighter; it had branded his flesh and his soul with Beloved's name. Sensei, he had convinced himself, was the only one who could shape him into everything his Sacrifice would need.

Disgust followed fear when Soubi had first caught himself shuddering, goosebumps slithering up his arms at the soft, helpless whisper of the wings of a butterfly dying in Sensei's hands. Its panicked colors spilled across his vision; fading patterns dissolved before his eyes, but he watched. Caught unawares like all of Sensei's specimens, he forced himself to follow the silver pin, bit by bit, until the small body was pierced.

Preservation, Sensei explained; an important lesson on necessary sacrifice. Observe, he said. You must not shy away from death.

Soubi fought with himself not to turn his head, swallowing thickly around the dryness in his throat at Sensei's indication of his turn. The butterfly struggled; Sensei stood behind him, cold voice lecturing him on the benefits of knowing how to kill. Soubi bit down on his lip, timid fingers clumsily retrieving the pin from Sensei's outstretched hand, and battled his own body's ceaseless trembling at this unnecessary death.

That night, in a dream, large butterfly wings flogged his face until Soubi bled in repentance for that first kill.

Come morning, he picked up a sketchpad with a sweaty hand and drew butterflies until his heart stopped pounding and his pencil ceased to shake. He bent and twisted his words around the overwhelming dread, erasing images and connotations until the finest spell emerged. Practice had not made perfect until the day when blue butterflies on razorblade wings charged at his command with bitter revenge.

He never thought, until it was too late, that - in attempt to reverse the conditioning - he had developed a condition with far more dangerous nets: obsession.

Comments

[sushinase.livejournal.com]

too complex to only read once. need a couple more times to wrap my mind around this and.. it was simply wonderful. beautiful

[enchanter.livejournal.com]

Is it? Hehe, I hope it's not too unclear then. But I'm glad you liked it. Thank you! :D

[(Anonymous)]

oh no not unclear, i was just really really tired when i read it :)

[priestess-grrrl.livejournal.com]

When I read this, it felt like someone had poured cold fire into my heart, except that instead of freezing it, it made it burn with a dark flame. Poor Sou-chan. It makes me want to weep till I have no more tears.

I love that idea, that the origin of Soubi's butterfly spell is so... dark. I loved your use of the transferred epithet: Its panicked colors spilled across his vision... It's as if he can't help but see things with an artist's eye. That whole paragraph, the way your mind flips from Soubi to the butterfly and back again... chillingly beautiful.

Thanks BTW for the Soubi/Kio rec; I'll definitely check it out. If it's as lovely as all of your other work, I'm sure I'll become a Soubi/Kio fangirl in no time... ^_^

[enchanter.livejournal.com]

I have a strange obsession with looking for explanations of certain canon facts which are 'just there' but are never given explanations. Soubi's butterfly spell was one of them. It's not that I think canon is less valuable without more on these small things; it's that I love them because they provide such great opportunities for writers, so many ideas for fanfiction.

My Soubi is always an artist as much as he is a Fighter. I like writing him that way, and I think a perspective like that - an artist's eye - adds a lot to the text when Soubi narrates it. Not being an artist myself (not much of one, anyway, as I am first and foremost a writer), I sometimes probably miss a lot of things, references I could use in my writing, but I'm still trying to show that he's more than just the 'Perfect Fighter'.

Hehe, Kio/Soubi is love. Also, resistance is futile... I'm not one to tell whether it's as good as other stories I've written, but I personally like all the pieces I post (or I would not have posted them to begin with). Whether or not others like them is a matter of their taste, I suppose, but I hope you'll find them to your liking, as well.

There's an index of all of my Loveless fanfiction here, in case you haven't found that yet. ♥

[rebekkamaria.livejournal.com]

There is always a sentence that strikes me more than the others. It's like a scream inside.

The butterfly struggled; Sensei stood behind him, cold voice lecturing him on the benefits of knowing how to kill.

It's lovely. I'm sorry for the choice of word, but it is. I adore the short little moments you capture. You make them count; you make them worthy. And they are always interesting, full of dream and dark and mind. ^_^ I love that in your words. Always have to listen a bit more carefully. Otherwise might miss something.

[enchanter.livejournal.com]

I believe in 'less is more' and I try to employ that technique in my writing. Though, I'll admit that sometimes, the characters start rambling and I can't help doing the same in writing, as well. ::g::

But, I do try to make the words mean something. Because this makes the story concise, to the point, and that - I suppose - is what it's all about.

I'm glad you liked it. Thanks for reading, and for the comment! ♥